I am a recluse.
I love being along in my home with my fur and naked babies. It is my own little world and very rarely do I allow people into my home. If you have been to my house consider yourself one of the lucky few! Usually there will be musicals playing and me singing along while getting work accomplished. It is usually a very happy place. 
I don’t watch the news. I try not to read the news. I don’t need to be overly depressed by all the bad news that the main stream media try to profit on. There is no escaping the news now. My phone buzzes and dings every time there is something related to CORVID-19.
Bisbee has become a real ghost town. 
Tourists stopped coming, which means no ghost tours. 
2 out of 3 of my upcoming shows have been postponed, which means I don’t know what to make and feel a major void in my soul.
What I do make and put on the website isn't being bought because people are watching their money. So many people got laid off and how on earth are they going to pay their rent, utilities or groceries?
Jimmy is still going to work (thank goodness), which means regardless of if I self quarantine, if he gets sick, I will get sick. I am high risk due to asthma and my scared lungs. Not as high risk as some of my friends and family. It is scary. 
I saw people walking their dogs which are usually just locked up in the back yard.
I added free coloring pages for people to download on the Sweet Midnight website, but that doesn’t seem to be enough.
Leeza and I are still doing the Pudge Trudge every morning with the k-9 children and making masks for people, but that doesn’t seem to be enough.
Jimmy and I went to Petsmart and Target and no one was social distancing. 
I go on the Pack Walk with Swirl every evening with Ziggy.  
I feel sad. Drained. Broken. Lost. Depressed. Nothing seems to be enough.
I worked in the garden yesterday and my carnivorous plants are growing.
I tried cleaning my office. 
I tried being creative.
I tried to keep my mind occupied. 
I’m tired.
Are you tired?
When is this going to end? When are we going to be able to get on with our lives? Will life every be normal again or is this the new normal? 
Will the new normal be feeling excited because you found a roll of toilet paper in the very back of your pantry when you thought you were out? Or is the new normal going to be trading paper towels for bleach with your friends? 
I’m exhausted.
I have lost all faith in our leaders. Where are they? What are they doing? 
I think it is OK to feel this. 
I think it is OK to feel whatever we, you, I are feeling. 
We are living in strange times. 

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  • Renee Harper
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